By Rebecca Waclawyj, founder, Brighter Future Mediation | FMC registered mediator | 

With over 15 years working in the prison service, probation, family courts and specialist domestic abuse perpetrator intervention as well as lived experience as a litigant in person in family court proceedings– I know this is only the start of many important conversations.

Louis Theroux’s ‘Inside the Manosphere’ landed on Netflix in March 2026. Since then, I have received more messages from worried parents than at any other point in Brighter Future Mediation’s existence. Most of those messages come from parents who are navigating separation. 

That is not a coincidence. And it is the starting point for this guide. 

The Amicable article published on 26 March 2026 covers some important ground for co-parents. But I want to go further. Because the children I am thinking about are not just boys. They are all children navigating two households, two sets of rules, and an online world that none of us had to grow up in. And the parents I am thinking about are not just amicable co-parents. Many of you are managing conflict, uncertainty, and your own grief, while also trying to keep your children safe. 

This guide is for all of you. It is backed by research, it includes support links, and it has a companion guide written directly for your teenagers. 

First: What is the manosphere, and who is at risk? 

The manosphere refers to a network of online communities, platforms and influencers promoting rigid, ultra-masculine ideals framed in opposition to feminism and gender equality. Key figures include Harrison Sullivan (HSTikkyTokky) and Myron Gaines, profiled in Theroux’s Netflix documentary, and Andrew Tate, whose platform predates both. 

The entry point often looks harmless: gym motivation, money tips, self-improvement content. The algorithm then introduces progressively more extreme material. A 2023 study found manosphere content had been viewed over 2.7 billion times on TikTok, primarily by boys aged 13 to 17 (Moonshot CVE, 2023). Research published in 2022 found that 42 per cent of children aged 9 to 16 held neutral or favourable views of Andrew Tate (Revealing Reality, 2022). 

Boys are disproportionately targeted by this content. But the impact is not limited to boys. Girls and young women are also affected, through relationships with peers who hold these views, through the normalisation of misogynistic language, and through their own social media exposure. Children across the gender spectrum are navigating a world in which these ideas are present and largely uncontested in the online spaces they inhabit. 

Why separation creates particular vulnerability.

The research on children and parental separation is substantial. Meta-analyses consistently show that, on average, children of separated parents face elevated risks of emotional and behavioural difficulties, lower academic attainment and disrupted peer relationships (Amato, 2000; Hetherington et al., 1998). Crucially, the most significant predictor of poor outcomes is not the separation itself but the level of ongoing conflict between parents (Harold and Leve, 2012; Pedro-Carroll, 2005). 

For children navigating the manosphere, separation creates a specific additional layer of risk: 

• Inconsistent messages across two homes can amplify exposure. If one household allows unlimited access to harmful content and the other does not, children can receive contradictory signals about what is acceptable. 

• Boys navigating life across two households often experience heightened questions about identity and belonging. The manosphere offers simple, compelling answers to those questions: strength, status, and a clear enemy. Research on adolescent identity development confirms that young people with unmet needs for belonging are particularly susceptible to group identities that offer certainty (Tajfel and Turner, 1979). 

• Girls in separated families may encounter manosphere ideas indirectly through brothers, male cousins, or their mother’s or father’s new partners. The normalisation of these ideas within a household is itself a form of harm. 

• Children who have absorbed the narrative that the separation was one parent’s fault, particularly if that parent is a woman, may use manosphere language to explain and reinforce that belief. This can create significant additional conflict in co-parenting arrangements. 

• Younger children in the same household as teenagers can be exposed to this content through a sibling’s devices, conversations, or behavioural changes. 

The good news, consistently supported by research, is that parental involvement, warmth, and consistent values are among the most powerful protective factors available (Rutter, 1987; Pedro-Carroll, 2005). You do not need to be an expert in the manosphere to make a difference. You need to be present, curious, and non-reactive. 

The layered impact on children: what to watch for 

Children aged 5 to 10 

Younger children are unlikely to be directly exposed to manosphere content, but they are affected by the atmosphere in their households. Watch for shifts in language about gender roles, black-and-white thinking (‘boys do this, girls do that’), and distress that appears connected to conflict between parents. Children this age are highly attuned to parental conflict even when they do not have the language to describe what they are experiencing (Cummings and Davies, 2010). 

Support: Place2Be (place2be.org.uk) provides school-based counselling for younger children. Young Minds (youngminds.org.uk) has parent resources for children of all ages. 

Young people aged 11 to 14 

This is the age group most likely to encounter manosphere content for the first time, primarily through TikTok, YouTube Shorts and Instagram Reels. The content is algorithmically optimised to reach young people who engage with fitness, gaming or self-improvement material. Signs to look for include new dismissive attitudes towards women or girls, repeating influencer phrases, withdrawal from offline friendships, shame or anxiety about appearance, status or sexual experience, and in separated families, blaming one parent for the divorce or aligning strongly with the parent who uses dismissive language about the other. 

This age group is also at peak sensitivity to peer belonging. Research confirms that the need for peer acceptance is highest between ages 11 and 15, making group identities like those offered by manosphere communities particularly appealing (Steinberg, 2008). 

Young people aged 15 to 18 

Older teenagers may be more deeply embedded in these communities. They are also more likely to push back against direct challenge. The approach here is curiosity, not confrontation. Ofsted inspections from 2022 to 2025 have documented rising sexism among boys in secondary schools, and NHS data shows significant increases in mental health referrals for adolescent boys, correlating with anxiety, self-harm and school refusal. 

For girls in this age group, the impact is often less visible but equally real: navigating peer groups where these ideas are normalised, managing relationships with boys who hold these views, and experiencing the particular stress of a separated household that may model gender inequality in different ways across two homes. 

Support: Childline (childline.org.uk / 0800 1111, free and confidential) is available 24 hours. YoungMinds crisis text line: text YM to 85258. 

How to talk to your child or teenager 

The most important thing to know about these conversations is that they are ongoing, not one-off. Trust is built through repeated small interactions, not single big moments. The goal is to be the adult your child comes to when they encounter something confusing online, not the adult who reacts in a way that shuts the conversation down. 

Six principles that work: 

• Start gently. Use the Theroux documentary, a news story or something your child has mentioned as a neutral entry point. Ask what they think. Listen before responding. 

• Ask open questions. ‘What do you like about that person?’ ‘How does that content make you feel?’ ‘What do your friends think?’ These create dialogue rather than debate. 

• Validate the underlying need. The appeal of manosphere content often relates to belonging, direction, status or feeling overlooked. Acknowledging those feelings while challenging the framework that is being offered to address them is more effective than simply dismissing the content. 

• Teach critical thinking. Help your child identify exaggeration, clickbait, and who profits from selling courses and memberships to young men. Compare what influencers say with the real lives of the men and women your child already knows and respects. 

• Stay calm when you hear something that concerns you. React with curiosity, not alarm. A sharp reaction can close the conversation down permanently. Try: ‘I can see why that sounds convincing. Can I share a different angle?’ 

• Do not expect one conversation to change everything. You are building a relationship in which your child feels safe to think out loud. That takes time and consistency, not a single intervention. 

Modelling something better: In both homes 

Co-parenting after separation is genuinely hard. The research is consistent that visible cooperation between parents, even when it is difficult, is one of the most powerful things you can offer your children (Pedro-Carroll, 2005; Wallerstein and Kelly, 1980). 

In the context of the manosphere, this has specific practical implications. Criticising an ex-partner in front of your child can unintentionally reinforce manosphere narratives about women being manipulative or fathers being victims. Conversely, watching two adults handle disagreement respectfully, even when they are no longer together, models something no influencer can: that strength and kindness can coexist. 

If you are struggling to co-parent constructively, family mediation can help. At Brighter Future Mediation, we support separating parents to reach agreements that work for both households, including agreements about screen time, social media, and shared values around respect and gender. Our MIAM sessions are the entry point.

The government £500 family mediation voucher may also be available to you for child arrangement cases: gov.uk/guidance/family-mediation-voucher-scheme. 

Understanding what your child is watching online 

You do not need to be a tech expert. You need to be curious and non-judgmental. 

Practical steps: 

• Ask calmly which platforms and creators your child follows. Frame it as genuine interest, not interrogation. TikTok, YouTube, Discord, Snapchat, Kick and X (formerly Twitter) are the primary channels for manosphere content. 

• Know the red flags: creators who mock women or girls, talk about ‘red pill’ versus ‘blue pill’, rank men using terms like ‘alpha’ or ‘sigma’, blame feminism for male unhappiness, or dismiss consent. The NSPCC has an online safety hub with platform-by-platform guidance: nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety. 

• For children aged 11 to 13, more active oversight is appropriate. For teenagers aged 14 to 17, a collaborative approach that maintains trust is generally more effective than outright bans, which can drive viewing underground. 

• Agree consistent expectations across both households if at all possible. Screen time, device curfews, and shared values around respect and equality are all legitimate subjects for a parenting plan. 

For detailed online safety guidance by platform and age group: UK Safer Internet Centre (saferinternet.org.uk) and Internet Matters (internetmatters.org). 

Supporting your child’s mental health 

Manosphere messages about never showing weakness are feeding a mental health crisis that is already significant. NHS data shows boys’ mental health referrals have risen substantially in recent years, correlating with anxiety, self-harm and school refusal. Girls are simultaneously experiencing record levels of anxiety and eating disorders. These are not separate phenomena. They exist within the same cultural environment. 

What helps, according to the research: 

• Normalise all emotions. Name your own feelings in front of your children. ‘I felt anxious about that’ or ‘I was sad when that happened’ models that emotional expression is strength, not weakness. This is particularly important for boys who are absorbing the opposite message online. 

• Provide safe outlets: sport, creative activities, youth clubs, volunteering, in-person friendships. Research consistently shows that offline social connection is the single strongest protective factor against the mental health impacts of excessive online engagement (Orben and Przybylski, 2019). 

• Acknowledge the specific stress of navigating two households. Life across two homes is cognitively and emotionally demanding for children of all ages. That stress deserves to be named and validated. 

• Know when to seek help. If you see persistent withdrawal, escalating anger, glorification of violence, or significant changes in eating, sleeping or school attendance, speak to your GP, your child’s school safeguarding lead, or refer to CAMHS (nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults). If you are concerned about immediate risk, contact Childline (0800 1111) or the NSPCC (0808 800 5000). 

What if my co-parent thinks this is not a problem, or actively supports these views? 

This is one of the most difficult scenarios parents face, and one that I have encountered in the context of my own experience as a litigant in person in family proceedings. 

The approach that tends to work: focus on your child’s wellbeing rather than your ex-partner’s beliefs. Bring school behaviour, friendship changes, or specific incidents to the conversation rather than ideological disagreement. Share evidence calmly, including school letters, Ofsted guidance, or links to the research cited in this article. 

If your co-parent actively promotes misogynistic content, and this is affecting your child’s behaviour or wellbeing, this is a legitimate subject for mediation or, where necessary, legal advice. General concern about online influences does not typically change child arrangements. But serious patterns of misogynistic behaviour that constitute harm to a child, particularly where they are accompanied by other controlling behaviour, may become relevant in proceedings. Seek early professional advice and keep factual records. 

Support for parents in high-conflict separations: Gingerbread (gingerbread.org.uk) for single parents, OnlyMums and OnlyDads (onlymums.org / onlydads.org), and Resolution for finding a qualified family lawyer (resolution.org.uk). 

Where to get support 

For your children: 

• Childline: childline.org.uk / 0800 1111 (free, 24 hours, confidential) 

• YoungMinds: youngminds.org.uk / crisis text: text YM to 85258 

• Place2Be (school-based counselling for younger children): place2be.org.uk 

• NSPCC helpline (for parents): 0808 800 5000 / nspcc.org.uk 

• CAMHS referral via GP or nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults 

• Kooth (free online counselling for young people): kooth.com 

• Stem4 (mental health charity for young people): stem4.org.uk 

For you as a parent: 

• Brighter Future Mediation: brighterfuturemediation.co.uk / 03332408038 / info@brighterfuturemediation.co.uk 

• £500 government family mediation voucher: gov.uk/guidance/family-mediation-voucher-scheme 

• Relate (relationship counselling): relate.org.uk / 0300 100 1234 

• Gingerbread (single parents): gingerbread.org.uk / 0808 802 0925 

• OnlyMums and OnlyDads: onlymums.org / onlydads.org 

• Citizens Advice (legal rights): citizensadvice.org.uk 

• Families Need Fathers: fnf.org.uk 

• Resolution (family lawyers): resolution.org.uk 

Online safety: 

• UK Safer Internet Centre: saferinternet.org.uk 

• Internet Matters (parental controls by platform): internetmatters.org 

• NSPCC online safety hub: nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety 

• Thinkuknow (CEOP): thinkuknow.co.uk